Tuesday, October 20, 2020

I’m gonna LIVE again!

This picture was taken moments before my pacemaker was turned off. Everything went flying from my hands.  The pacemaker on the left is exactly like my new one, the one on the right, is the one I had before. You can see the date and time on the picture.


As everyone knows I had my pacemaker replaced last month because the battery was dropping rapidly. It was definitely a more painful healing process than I expected, especially because the pain came in waves. Sometimes I was great and then boom, a new pain and discomfort would hit me.  Aside from that, I was doing great! No complaints, I was so happy the surgery was successful and I made it through it, so I’ve just been extremely thankful, overall. 
Well, I went to my first follow up after my surgery and if you really know my story, you know I am 100% dependent on my pacemaker, without that going, my heart can’t go. Basically, they accidentally turned it off for a second and I almost went flat out on the floor, in the office. It was not a pretty sight. I was literally screaming crying over how I felt and how awful of a feeling it was for me. I cried that whole day, night and for days after. It honestly messed me up for a bit. I kept having flashes of it and would panic all over again. It was AWFUL to say the least. I felt like I was the toy and they had the remote to play with, turning me off and on by the click of a button.
The one thing I have been reminded by the Holy Spirit through this and through many others that love me, is maybe they have a machine that can do that but God IS the author of MY story. He is the one that continues to KEEP me here even when others make mistakes. The enemy can’t lie to me anymore and make me feel like I’m not supposed to be here because God has KEPT me here all along. 
Today, I listened to the song Rattle by Elevation Worship and the words hit me in a whole new way!!
Saturday was silent
Surely it was through
But since when has impossible
Ever stopped You
Friday's disappointment
Is Sunday's empty tomb
Since when has impossible
Ever stopped You
This is the sound of dry bones rattling
This is the praise make a dead man walk again
Open the grave, I'm coming out
I'm gonna live, gonna live again!!!
I’ve been disappointed, I’ve been silenced, I haven’t been posting on our marriage page, I haven’t been doing the things I truly love to do and God has MADE me to do. I’ve been listening to SO much noise in my head and it’s kept me so down. I’ve been barely making it to church and just desperate for this awful feeling in my mind to leave. I’ve prayed, I’ve listened to worship, I read the Bible but the heavy dark cloud wouldn’t go away BUT today, I am breaking FREE!! I’m not letting the enemy hold me down anymore. God has kept me. God continues to deliver me from so many things this world has brought my way. The enemy keeps trying to take me out, but God wants me to live again! 
I share this to say, don’t let the enemy lie to you anymore either. If you are down and struggling, it’s because he is scared of you and all you could do for the Kingdom. He lies to us and fills our heads with doubt, negativity, insecurity and the list goes on. The devil is a liar!! BREAK FREE from his lies today and cling to God’s word. I get it, you might feel like you’ve been trying and can’t get out of it but YOU CAN! Keep listening to worship, play a random playlist, read your Bible, turn off social media and just let God speak to you. He is WITH you. He has BIG plans for YOU! We can’t let the devil win, we can’t give him that credit. Kick him out of your mind today and tell him you’re tired of those lies. 
YOU are God’s treasure, YOU are His chosen one. It’s time to LIVE AGAIN!! 
Let me know if you need prayer or need someone to talk to, I would love to pray with you. 
God IS good ALL the time and HE is the author of YOUR story. 
Love,
Lynette