My Journey

Those that know me, know it’s been a rough couple of years, I’ve had marriage issues, health issues…LOTS of them, the loss of my precious Daddy, another loss I haven’t told about, which then brought on MORE health issues, which then brought on a lot of financial issues and then car issues. It’s just been a really rough ride and I felt on my heart, it was time to share. 

When all you do is preach to people, pour into people and scream from the rooftops to Fight for Your Marriage and then without warning, yours completely falls apart - you feel confused, really fake and begin to question everything…or at least I did. I questioned if it was ever real? What happened? Was I blind? How could ours fall apart when all we wanted to do was tell people how much marriage is worth fighting for and how you CAN get through anything. Even though it was hard, I kept going. I still kept serving God, even if it was me showing up to church with tears falling from my eyes, as people just surrounded me in hugs and prayer. I felt like I had lost my identity. Something I worked so hard for and constantly had messages, calls or meetings about, just became broken, in a blink of an eye. I couldn’t help anyone else because I, myself needed help. It took time but with God I was getting through it, then we began working on our marriage again and that’s definitely been a very long road to recovery. 

Then fast forward on to the loss of my Daddy. He was honestly the sweet voice of Jesus in my life. He was the one that I always felt “enough” for. He reminded me of my worth and always knew what to say and exactly the right time to say it. Now, I know my Daddy is not Jesus, but what I’m saying is, God used him many times to speak to me. Even in his sick days, he spoke to me right on time. I miss him so much and I had no idea, just how much I would struggle without his voice in my life. 

Shortly after losing my Daddy, I found out I was pregnant. Pregnant at 39 years old with a heart condition and in the midst of marriage troubles. It was definitely not planned and saying I was shocked, is an understatement. I’ve always said I didn’t plan to birth anymore because it’s so high risk for me, that I would feel selfish to try to have another baby myself as it’s so risky, which worries me for my kids. BUT here I was…pregnant. All I could think is this has to be God, I didn’t do anything different, why now after so many years? I was scared but ultimately I trusted God.

I had an immediate appointment because of my high risk state and then was sent immediately to a high risk maternal fetal medicine doctor. I had ultrasounds, saw the heart beating away. The doctor advised me I was extremely high risk and I had a medical reason to “end” the pregnancy and asked what I would like to do? I said it’s simple, I’m not God and that’s not my decision. He said he fully understood and agreed but he has to go over that option with me. He said him, his team and my cardiologist will do all they could to get me through the pregnancy and birth. 

I was almost 3 months pregnant when I was having some back pain, no other symptoms at all, it was just mild back pain. I called my MFM doctor and they advised me to get into Winnie Palmer Hospital to be evaluated and just be sure it’s nothing. All test were coming back normal, pregnancy still showing strong all the levels were good. The doctor decided to do an ultrasound before letting me go, just to be sure they weren’t missing anything. The entire time there, I wasn’t worried and truly didn’t think anything was wrong. I thought it might be kidney stones. 

When I went into the ultrasound, I was all upbeat, as I wasn’t worried. I said to the tech, how’s the heartbeat? As they normally say, she responded with oh honey I can’t tell you that, I can’t tell you anything (in a very cold way). Her not telling me, was basically her telling me. I understand they can’t give any information but they should keep it that way for both ways because that was an awful way to find out. This horrific feeling came over me that I cannot explain, it was a very dark feeling of death. I was still having to sit there getting through this ultrasound but I knew something was wrong and I felt so sick and sad. Once I was done, I was taken back to my room and the doctor came in and told me, the baby is there but there isn’t a heartbeat anymore. They believed what I was having is a “missed miscarriage”, it’s where the heartbeat stops but the hormones all continue on, I was nauseous and all, even my uterus was still growing. They said the body still believes you’re pregnant because you are however, the baby is no longer living and growing. I was numb, I couldn’t even react.

I left and then broke, cried my eyes out the whole way home. Why did my body fail again? Why am I so broken? I wasn’t even able to carry this baby to completion. Then I asked God for a miracle, if it was meant for me to have this baby, He would change things overnight because I was meeting with my MFM the next day for another ultrasound with him to confirm. When I went the next day and saw the baby on the screen, I’ve never forgotten that image. It’s definitely different seeing a lifeless baby in your womb. They hadn’t said it yet, but I knew at that point. Then the doctor came in with the dreaded “I’m sorry” and I was scheduled for immediate admission and to stop my blood thinners for the surgery. 

So many years of being content with the children I was blessed with and for so many years not trying and also not ending up pregnant. Just knowing it wasn’t a good idea with my heart condition and then boom, in the midst of so many troubles and the biggest loss of my life, I found out I’m pregnant. I just knew it was God and even though I was scared, I trusted Him and His plan, then this…more loss? 

I had the surgery and was hospitalized for a few days, then released. A few days after being home, late at night I started with excruciating pain in my abdomen, I was rushed into the hospital to find out I was still showing pregnant and parts of the baby were left behind, causing a ridiculous amount of pain. I was admitted and they had to do another procedure to clean me out. It was like this loss just kept having to be relieved, over and over and over. It was on this visit that they found the enormous fibroid, which was also causing terrible pain. They believe it was irritated when I had to have the d&c to clean me out. 

I was seeing my doctor weekly for this fibroid and all I heard over and over is that there is nothing that can be done. It is dangerous to keep it in there yet with my heart and being on a blood thinner, it’s too risky and they can’t do anything. Soooo, I can’t keep it in there? I’m hearing it’s extremely dangerous to do because of the size and because of the location yet I also can’t remove it? Talk about confusing. On top of that, I was having extreme pain and discomfort, it was affecting my everyday life, in many ways. 

I went for a second opinion, which was God led. This doctor understood my heart condition, his wife had a heart TRANSPLANT. I sat in that exam room with tears falling down my face. Yeah, my life has been hard, yeah the journey hasn’t been easy but there are other people experiencing FAR worse. In that moment, I forgot all about MY problems and just asked him all about his wife, their kids, their daily life and how they get through, as she lost her ability to talk, she communicates by pointing at what she needs and their daily life is so much more complicated than mine. Yet he stood there telling me just how thankful he is to still have her and that they found a heart to save her life. In a moment I saw God all in my life, I saw Him orchestrating every appointment, every hardship, just to lead me to this moment right here. To remind me there IS hope. It had been a long, tough and painful journey and then I found this doctor, who was a God send. This doctor that knew exactly what procedure I needed done and had a plan for the whole thing. As I was walking away from him he asked me who my cardiologist was and to find out, they’re FRIENDS. He was going to text her right away and be in touch with her the whole way through. Again, God showing up! 

I was then scheduled for an EXTREMELY painful procedure in October, where they kill off the blood supply to your uterus, so that they can starve the fibroid. This would allow the fibroid to starve, which would stop it from growing and hopefully shrink it. It was THE MOST PAINFUL recovery, ever! And that says a lot after having open heart surgery twice…this was worse. They had me on a pain pump (pictured below) for a couple days, I didn’t even have that with my open heart, but even with the pump, I was still crying in pain. The next few months were painful and hard, with appointments every week and a few more emergency visits to the hospital due to blood loss and extreme amounts of pain. 

Finally, on January 12, 2023, my fibroid had shrunk enough to have the hysterectomy done. They removed my uterus and tubes - which would obviously remove the rest of the fibroid, as well. 

Within 3 weeks of that surgery, I was hit with Covid for the first time ever. My body hurt like I have never ever experienced. It caused the worst headache and joint pain of my life. All I could do is lay in bed, in excruciating pain in my joints. I then woke up to an extreme amount of blood loss happening, something I hadn’t experienced since the surgery. I called the doctor and they had me monitor it for the next few hours and within that time, the loss got so bad, I rushed into the hospital, as instructed. It was SO bad, two doctors came to see me and examine me. They decided to admit me as my blood count was dropping and they weren’t sure if I would need a blood transfusion. After a few exams and some testing, they told me it looked like I had something that was a 1% chance out of like a million, going wrong in this surgery. The doctor on call just kept repeating it and saying I don’t know why you had to get this of all people. I was numb and barely responding. The more I heard it the more I thought, please just stop saying it before I lose it. I try my best to stay positive and not think of the why, why, why because it doesn’t help and could drive me crazy.

That day I barely talked to anyone. I just talked to God and it wasn’t a desperate cry out, it was more like just talking to Him as a person, as my Father, as the ONLY one who could change this for me. I just knew my body couldn’t handle another surgery. Within 6 months, I had 4 surgeries and many more hospitalizations. All I heard countless times is how tired my veins are. The last surgery, the anesthesia team stood over me right before they knocked me out, saying how high risk I am and they will do all they can to get me through it. I fell asleep with tears just rolling down my face. To hear I needed another surgery to fix something that shouldn’t have happened, rocked me. Especially since it wasn’t even a month later and I had Covid! It was just becoming more and more dangerous with more of a risk. 

So, with all that being said I talked to God that day and said I cannot have another surgery. Please just heal me without surgery this time. Then the next doctor on call came in and he said they would give it a little time and see how things go. They kept me with no food or drink just in case I had to be rushed into surgery. A few hours later, he came back in and said he talked to my doctor and he does not want me to have another surgery and does not feel I need it. My doctor is hoping with low activity, they can let my body heal on it’s own without another surgery. They agreed to keep me overnight again and if my blood count is stable and the blood loss slows down as it had been, I could go home on very low activity. The next morning, my blood loss had slowed down and my blood count was low but stable enough to go home with it stopping. 

Wait, what? I finally get good news? It seemed every time a surgery was mentioned, there was no getting out of it. I had gotten to the point to where I didn’t even react from bad news, I was just numb and used to it. But then this, He saved me from having to have another operation! In reality, I wanted to scream and shout out loud, praising God and telling everyone about it but I had become silent. It seemed every time I text or shared a good report, either a setback would happen or something new would go wrong. So I truly became silent. I was only sharing with my close family, that lives with me. Yes, my surgery is taking longer to fully heal from and I’m still not cleared all the way yet but I’m getting there. I have another post operative appointment on Monday, March 27, 2023, and I’m hoping to be fully healed and cleared at that time, but I’m learning to trust the slow process and just fully trust He is in control.

My baby was due February 13, 2023 and even though I didn’t get to meet them, they came here for a short time and possibly saved my life. I wouldn’t have known about that dangerous fibroid I had, until possibly too late. They now get to be with their amazing Papa in Heaven and I know they’re having a blast with him. I will forever be thankful for the kids God has blessed me with, here on earth and I will strive everyday to let them know they are and always have been more than enough. I love you, Isaiah and Amiyah!

I share all of this to say…I know life is hard sometimes. Oh Lord, do I know. I’ve experienced depression, I’ve questioned why God has kept me here and I’ve had thoughts I never ever thought I’d have. I’ve screamed crying, begging Him to just let me go be with my Daddy again because I didn’t want to feel all the pain I’ve been feeling here, the physical pain, the emotional pain, the heartbreak pain, it’s just been so much. I needed and wanted my Daddy’s voice again, his unconditional love and his words of wisdom and love. I had a purpose to help marriages at one point and I felt like I lost that and then I had a purpose to encourage people to keep going, no matter what they are facing and I truly felt like I lost that too. How can I encourage people when I need encouragement myself? I became so silent. I got tired of not having good news for people. It’s like that saying “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all” only I made it, if you have nothing encouraging or good to say, just don’t say anything at all. I closed myself off from my family, friends and community. I believed the lies that were being said to me in my head. They don’t want to hear it, can’t you ever have good news to report? 

I know we are in this world for a reason, I know God designs callings for each one of us and I felt like mine was just demolished. It felt like I was in a big ocean with large waves coming over my head and I was just too tired to keep fighting the current, to stay above the water anymore. But somehow through all the junk, the tears, the pain, the numb feelings, the voices, I still kept going - barely crawling, barely keeping my head above water - Only because God was with me, only because His voice is stronger and more loud than the enemy. Only because HE kept me above water. Only because He continuously reminded me He STILL has a purpose for me. In the midst of storms, in the midst of all the pain, in the midst of the tears, it can be so hard to see God, but trust me, He is there! He is with you and never ever left you. We have to look for Him and you will SEE Him. He was the Voice that kept me from giving up, whether it was me hearing from Him by myself, my 11 year old niece Ally texting me a Word right on time, a text from my amazing mentors from church, a text from my big hearted cousin David or a text from my Uncle Paul. You all helped me MORE than you’ll ever know and I’m sorry I haven’t been able to even voice that but I’m trying now. As for David and Uncle Paul, your texts reminded me of my Daddy’s and I’ve needed that more than I could possibly EVER say. Thank you for showing me love and encouragement when I’ve needed it the most. 

I lost some friends along the way, I’ve closed myself off to people like never before. It got to a point to where it was just too hard to update people. Then when I had a tiny bit of good news, there would then be a setback. So I quit talking. I used all the energy I had to just fill my kids with what they needed, enjoy them as much as possible and work on my marriage. 

I want to thank every single person that gave to me financially through this madness. Some gave publicly and some gave privately. I cannot thank you enough. You allowed me to have the necessary surgeries I needed, you put food on our table, you allowed my kids to have a birthday celebration, you paid my bills, and so on. If I didn’t have that help, I don’t know where we would be right now. You truly were the hands and feet of Jesus, in a mighty way. I pray each of you have been and continue to be blessed beyond measure. 

I am finally back to work from my medical leave, I think my body is in shock but I’m super thankful I’m able to work again! Hallelujah! 

I am also working hard to be myself again, start facing people again, start talking again, truly smiling again, laughing, LIVING again and scream from the rooftops God is good, no matter WHAT! Because He is. I want to do what I love again, encourage people, pray for people and let them know, no matter how hard it is, God sees you and He is WITH you. Remember God is with us THROUGH the storm, He doesn’t normally just take us around it. Storms are meant to teach us to truly trust Him, no matter what it looks like and no matter what we are facing. I held onto Him and He is seeing me through it, it’s just taking time.

With Love,

Lynette 🖤 

I’m gonna LIVE again!

This picture was taken moments before my pacemaker was turned off. Everything went flying from my hands.  The pacemaker on the left is exactly like my new one, the one on the right, is the one I had before. You can see the date and time on the picture.

As everyone knows I had my pacemaker replaced last month because the battery was dropping rapidly. It was definitely a more painful healing process than I expected, especially because the pain came in waves. Sometimes I was great and then boom, a new pain and discomfort would hit me.  Aside from that, I was doing great! No complaints, I was so happy the surgery was successful and I made it through it, so I’ve just been extremely thankful, overall. 

Well, I went to my first follow up after my surgery and if you really know my story, you know I am 100% dependent on my pacemaker, without that going, my heart can’t go. Basically, they accidentally turned it off for a second and I almost went flat out on the floor, in the office. It was not a pretty sight. I was literally screaming crying over how I felt and how awful of a feeling it was for me. I cried that whole day, night and for days after. It honestly messed me up for a bit. I kept having flashes of it and would panic all over again. It was AWFUL to say the least. I felt like I was the toy and they had the remote to play with, turning me off and on by the click of a button.

The one thing I have been reminded by the Holy Spirit through this and through many others that love me, is maybe they have a machine that can do that but God IS the author of MY story. He is the one that continues to KEEP me here even when others make mistakes. The enemy can’t lie to me anymore and make me feel like I’m not supposed to be here because God has KEPT me here all along. 

Today, I listened to the song Rattle by Elevation Worship and the words hit me in a whole new way!!

Saturday was silent
Surely it was through
But since when has impossible
Ever stopped You
Friday's disappointment
Is Sunday's empty tomb
Since when has impossible
Ever stopped You

This is the sound of dry bones rattling
This is the praise make a dead man walk again
Open the grave, I'm coming out
I'm gonna live, gonna live again!!!

I’ve been disappointed, I’ve been silenced, I haven’t been posting on our marriage page, I haven’t been doing the things I truly love to do and God has MADE me to do. I’ve been listening to SO much noise in my head and it’s kept me so down. I’ve been barely making it to church and just desperate for this awful feeling in my mind to leave. I’ve prayed, I’ve listened to worship, I read the Bible but the heavy dark cloud wouldn’t go away BUT today, I am breaking FREE!! I’m not letting the enemy hold me down anymore. God has kept me. God continues to deliver me from so many things this world has brought my way. The enemy keeps trying to take me out, but God wants me to live again! 

I share this to say, don’t let the enemy lie to you anymore either. If you are down and struggling, it’s because he is scared of you and all you could do for the Kingdom. He lies to us and fills our heads with doubt, negativity, insecurity and the list goes on. The devil is a liar!! BREAK FREE from his lies today and cling to God’s word. I get it, you might feel like you’ve been trying and can’t get out of it but YOU CAN! Keep listening to worship, play a random playlist, read your Bible, turn off social media and just let God speak to you. He is WITH you. He has BIG plans for YOU! We can’t let the devil win, we can’t give him that credit. Kick him out of your mind today and tell him you’re tired of those lies. 

YOU are God’s treasure, YOU are His chosen one. It’s time to LIVE AGAIN!! 

Let me know if you need prayer or need someone to talk to, I would love to pray with you. 

God IS good ALL the time and HE is the author of YOUR story. 

Love,

Lynette

Trust Him Always

My life has been a bit crazy lately, it’s taken some crazy twist and turns. My faith has been rocked, my emotions have been all over the place and I felt like it was time to give you all a little peek into it. 🤪

In the end of June, I was sent to the ER with a kidney stone and infection. There wasn’t too much said at that visit, they discharged me with blood work results and told me to see my primary. I saw my primary doctor through a FaceTime visit that following Monday and got news I was NOT expecting. It turned out my kidney function was in trouble and did not look good at all. According to the blood work, I was in stage three kidney disease and needed to see a specialist immediately. My kidney function was 53%!! I was devastated to say the least. I’m pretty sure I cried that entire day. 

Jon and I went to the nephrologist within a week. He said he doesn’t give anyone a “stage” unless they’ve been at the same level for 3 months straight. He advised me he is all about nutrition healing your kidney function and told me to eat meat only once a week. I said I will do anything to heal them, I do not want kidney issues. While in there I saw a chart in regards to kidney function, I said to Jon I will get my kidney function above 90% to make it normal by the time we come here again. 

During all this, it requires lots of testing, lots of appointments and I’ve just been completely drained so I have been on medical leave to take care of my health. Jon was called to Tampa on business and since I was out of work, I was able to go with him. In reality, I know God was calling me to Be Still so that He could talk to me. One quiet night in the hotel, the Holy Spirit told me I needed to get my pacemaker checked. Honestly if you could see my crazy conversation in the shower with the Holy Spirit (who you cannot actually see or hear) you’d think I was a crazy person. I was like my pacemaker??? Why my pacemaker?? Lord, I’m dealing with my kidneys right now, why are you telling me to do something with my heart now?? He reminded me of how I’ve been drained and will feel from one second to another that all energy has been zapped from me. It was like an ‘ah ha’ moment but I was still confused. Being obedient, I called my cardiologist office and told them my symptoms, they spoke to the doctor, called me back and said I needed to come in the very next day to have the pacemaker checked then see the doctor. 

The next day comes, I go into my cardiologist office get my pacemaker checked and to my surprise my pacemaker battery had dropped 11 months in a 3 month timing. It showed I had only 7 months of battery life left and it had just shown 1 year and 6 months just a few months before this. You know how God tells you something and you think He might be crazy or you think you’re crazy and hearing Him wrong but then He proves it to you. He proved once again, He knows what He is talking about. Yeah! This was one of those moments. I was crying, I was chuckling, I was shocked, I just couldn’t believe it. 

Then I meet with the doctor, in his eyes yes, the battery is dropping fast, but in his words you still have time left on it, we can ride it out a little longer. Excuse me? Does this doctor know how crazy I am?? He said don’t worry, when it gets too low, the siren will start going off. Ummm...my chest will start alarming?! I said doctor, if my chest starts sounding off, I will have much more problems than just needing a new battery! I am crazy!! And I will flip out!! He then said we needed to do some other tests on my heart to make sure everything else was ok then he will bring me back in for another check on the pacemaker and discuss what to do from there. 

In the meantime, I went back to the nephrologist to follow up, he did more in depth blood work to recheck everything and also to check my vitamin levels. That’s when I got word that God HEALED my kidneys. My kidney function was 91%!!! To God be the glory!! I screamed and shouted praise God with my arms straight up in the air. I’m not sure what it was prayer, nutrition or what but I know God gets ALL the glory because He directed my steps and led me there. 

In that same appointment he then went over how my iron was dangerously low and I needed iron IV infusions immediately. I was really shocked and bummed to hear this because I just got done hearing one praise report and then boom another setback. 

It felt like I was on this roller coaster ride that was taking my body through ups and downs and taking my mind fully with it. I wanted time to be excited about my kidneys but then it turned into a new issue again. So, I cried it out again but once I did I realized I have SO much to be thankful for! No matter what God was still looking out for me. It was because of Him this was revealed so that I could get the treatment I needed to feel better and get healthy again. I started the IV treatments the next day, to be honest, they stink! They don’t make me feel the best and it taste awful! Yes, you taste it the entire time it’s going through the IV.

It had been 29 days since the cardiologist appointment, I had gone for all the testing he ordered. Now, I was back to get the pacemaker checked again and see the doctor. I find out the battery life dropped TWO more months in 29 days! The doctor came in and said are you ready? We need to get this done! So now I am scheduled for surgery on September 10 to get a new pacemaker. 

Honestly, I cried the whole way home but after getting it all out and letting God speak to me. I was reminded He has me. It’s all thanks to Him for revealing this to me. How amazing is our God that a kidney issue which ended up being healed, led to me getting my iron corrected and ultimately led to revealing I needed a new pacemaker. The Lord knows if my chest started an alarming sound, I would probably meet Him in person A LOT sooner than planned and now I really know He has more plans for me here on earth. I’ve told Him I will always share of what He does for me in hopes that it gives someone else hope.

Does it bother me sometimes that I do have some health issues? YES. It definitely does but ultimately I’m thankful I’m here and I’m thankful to be used, even if it means another surgery. Ultimately, I TRUST God and I trust His plan. In the midst of all of this about a month or more ago, I heard the words to the song Available by Elevation Worship and that is when I chose to let go and trust Him fully. Those words in that song, are truly the cry of my heart and if I mean that, like truly mean that, then it’s that simple. I trust Him and I trust His plan for me. So, please keep me in prayer that God will use me during that time in the hospital and He will use me to witness to those around me. Most days I’m happy and jolly, acting like my crazy self but many days during the past three months I’ve cried more tears than I knew I had, eyes swollen, face all red but it’s in those moments where God meets me, speaks to me, comforts me and makes me realize HE HAS ME. 

“Trust in the Lord with ALL YOUR HEART and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:5-6 NIV

Love always, 

Lynette 

Quarantining and Fasting

This quarantine has had me pretty mellow. It’s actually very weird, if you know me. I’m an outgoing person, I love to get out and do things. I work from home, so breaking out of these four walls is sometimes needed for my sanity. Hearing about this virus would normally worry me. Hearing  about stores being closed, would normally freak me out, but I’ve just been at complete peace and calm during it. I’m not worried, I simply and fully trust God. I know God has a purpose in this and He will allow Romans 8:28 to come to life by the end of it. 

Everyone hearing about the quarantine at first seemed like ok, it’s all good, we can do this! As a few days pass, we keep finding new things to do or getting stuff done from our list. Now, the last few days, I see a lot of people are getting to the point where they may be over it. They want to get out and really go somewhere, it’s starting to get tough. 

Tonight I was thinking about it all and I can’t help but relate this to fasting. When you start a fast, you’re excited about it, you’re ready, you know it’ll be a sacrifice but you’re ready to do it. A while in you’re still doing ok and pushing through. Then a little more time passes and it starts to get rough, you're hungry, your stomach is growling and you almost feel sick. In that moment in the fast, is one of the most vital moments. You either cave and start eating or you do what you came here to do and that is keep that sacrifice going, get on your knees, press into God, open up His word and pray through those hard times. That’s the beauty in fasting, you don’t quit in those tough times, you press in harder and allow God to really show up. Then something beautiful happens, you gain a new energy, an endurance to keep going on the fast. Your stomach calms down and you’re filled with strength and you’re lit up. 

I feel like we need to treat this quarantine as a fast. In those moments it starts to get hard, the moment you get bored or begin to feel over it,  press into His word. Remember we are in this moment and in this season for a reason. Dive into His word until He fills you with that new energy, let Him give you the endurance you need to make it through this time. Don’t miss a moment.

I don’t know about you but when I fast, I come out stronger, I come out with a light, with clarity and full of the Holy Spirit. Treat this as a fast, it is basically a fast, only it’s not a self deciding one, it’s a forced one. What’s so cool about it, is pretty much the whole world is in this same fast. So imagine just how powerful it could be, if we all choose to turn to Him through this, cling to His word and allow Him to dig up the junk in our lives and birth something new in each of us through it all. This is something none of us have gone through, why not allow it to change us for the better? Allow it to change you from the inside out. 

I’m hungry for what God is doing and about to do. I’m ready for Him to change me. How about you?

“Create a new, clean heart within me. Fill me with pure thoughts and holy desires, ready to please you.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭51:10‬ ‭TPT‬‬

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:28‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭3:20 MSG‬‬

“Trust GOD from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for GOD ’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all. Run to GOD! Run from evil! Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life! Honor GOD with everything you own; give him the first and the best. Your barns will burst, your wine vats will brim over. But don’t, dear friend, resent GOD ’s discipline; don’t sulk under his loving correction. It’s the child he loves that GOD corrects; a father’s delight is behind all this.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:5-12‬ ‭MSG‬‬

Love,
Lynette

Consume Me

Consume Me

Today, I went to the gym after church, well after lunch because you know us church people have to go straight to eat after church. Lol! After eating, we drove straight to the Y to workout. Let me tell you, there’s nothing like working out after eating garlic bread, especially when you haven’t eaten bread in a long time. I felt like I had extra weights on me and was sweating bullets! I had to pay for eating that piece of bread. Anyway, I put on my worship music to do my workout and the song With You by Elevation Worship came on. Once the chorus came on with these words, I nearly lost it, right there on the elliptical. 

So let all that I am

Be consumed with who You are

All the glory of Your presence

What more could I ask for?

So let ALL that I am, be consumed with who You are! I started to really sing those words and cry about how much I mean them. I want every single piece of me to reflect Jesus. I get that there is no perfect Christian but I feel like we can easily make excuses for ourselves by saying that. It’s almost like we give ourselves a free pass by saying that. No, I’m not perfect but I surely do want Him to consume every part of me! 

If we are choosing Him and choosing to live for Him, we need to go all the way! So let ALL that I am, be consumed with who He is, means you should see Him when I smile, you should see Him in my marriage, you should see Him in my family, you should see Him in my finances. If I am letting Him consume all of me, then I should be living a vibrant life. A life that reflects Jesus. It means people at the gas station should see Jesus in me, people in the gym should see Jesus in me. My family should see Jesus in me. 

This morning at church we had Vision Sunday, where we got to hear some amazing things we are doing this year. I’m ready! I want to be a part, I want to do what I can. I plan to go on my first missions trip this year and God confirmed this morning He wants me there and He will provide the way. In a separate conversation, my spiritual mama said to me something so simple but they were words that came back to me during this moment in worship with this song, she said “Yes, God is not done with you yet, you still have a lot to do.” When I thought of those words in my moment of worship at the gym, I just began crying so hard, realizing she’s right my job is not done, I have work to do and He is depending on me to do it. Therefore, I need to be positioned, consumed and ready to do ALL He has for me to do. 

So, I ask you, what is living to you? For me, living is fulfilling my purpose. It’s me walking with God and being ready to do all He has for me to do. It’s getting people to Jesus, it’s helping save marriages, it’s helping to save a family, it’s living and walking in the joy of the Lord. 

Are you living? Are you wasting time? Are you doing all He has called you to do? Are you consumed by Him? 

If not or if you don’t know, take a moment and listen to this song. Listen to it more than once if you need to. He will speak to you, just be ready to listen. 

So let all that I am

Be consumed with who You are

All the glory of Your presence

What more could I ask for?

Really, what MORE could I ask for? He is so fulfilling, He is so satisfying. Live and walk for Him and I promise you, you will receive a fullness you could have never imagined. 

With All My Heart, 

Lynette 

This blog was inspired by: With You by Elevation Worship

What is He Saying to You?

The other morning I was making a single cup of coffee in my coffeemaker. I was on little sleep so I was exhausted. I put the water in, then the coffee pod, pressed start and walked away. I went back to get my coffee a few minutes later and realized I never put my coffee mug there to collect the coffee. I didn’t immediately see the mess, again, I was really tired and if you know me, you know I don’t function well before coffee. I said “oh no!!!” and started looking for the mess, I had to have made. It brewed EVERYWHERE! A single cup of coffee caused more of a mess than I could have imagined. Now, I’m cleaning before ever getting to drink my coffee. It caused quite the mess for me to clean. 

This morning, I was thinking back of that morning and I felt like God spoke to me and said you know just like you need your coffee mug there for the coffee machine to distribute as it’s supposed to, I need you to be postured correctly for you to receive what I have for you. It nearly brought me to tears in my kitchen this morning receiving such a powerful revelation. 

How many times is God trying to pour into your life and it’s just going everywhere but IN you because you’re not ready to receive it. He’s just pouring and pouring, meanwhile we’re asking God where He is in a situation but are we taking that vital moment to receive? We can talk, beg, plead with God all day long, we can even do it for years, but if we aren’t listening to what He is telling us, we are basically running on a hamster wheel, losing all our energy, feeling exhausted and drained because we can’t take one moment to stop and receive what He is speaking to us, showing us or possibly asking us to do. 

Think of how you would feel if you know your friend or family member needed sugar. So you’re  trying to pour some sugar in their hand but they aren’t cupping their hand to receive it, instead their hand is just flat out not even trying to catch it. You would say to them, what are you doing? I thought you needed this?? You’re making such a mess. Why aren’t you even trying to receive what I am giving to you? 

Imagine God. Imagine how many times He has tried to tell you something, to give you an answer, to lead you to an answer, to reveal something to you, but you’re so busy asking Him that you forgot to take a moment and hear from Him. Or have you heard from Him? Have you received your answer and you haven’t acted on it yet? Don’t wait anymore, allow Him to guide you and direct you. Trust me, He will. Listen to Him and take that step to see what He is guiding you to do. 

With Love, 

Lynette

Remembrance - He's been SO good to me

Remembrance - He's been SO, SO good to me...

I had this word stirring in my heart yesterday and I felt like the Lord really put it on my heart to share.

On Tuesday of this week, we had an amazing business meeting. The opportunity that was given to us was pretty big and we knew God sent this person to us, from step one. The future business with this person, would all be determined by our appointment on Thursday to get a big job done.

On the way home Tuesday night, we were praising God and just thanking Him for paving the way for us. We prayed that everything would go well Thursday and we knew as He always does, He would help us to get the job done.

Thursday, I had to work my regular job and Jon planned to go get started early and after work, I would go join him to help. Well, Jon gets to the job and things start to go wrong, our surface cleaner wasn't spinning properly.  In order to work correctly and clean the right way, this thing has to be working at full speed. So Jon texts me and tells me about it, I sent back a prayer, demanding that it work. I had tons of thoughts running through my head, saying why today? Not today, not on this job!

A while after Jon calls me and says "Babe, I'm not trying to stress you out, but we really need this tool for this job. Is there any way you can go rent one?" Our pressure washer is a very high psi, so you can't just run into Lowe's or Home Depot and buy one, we had ordered it on Amazon originally. So there was no quick fix, unless I rented one.

So, I headed over to Home Depot and on the way there I was listening to Remembrance by Hillsong Worship, it's one of my favorites so I just put it on repeat. The drive to the nearest Home Depot that rents, is quite a ways away. So, I'm just listening to the words to that song and singing it loud...

You've been so, so good to me
You've been so, so good to me
Oh, to think where I would be
If not for You, if not for You

And it hit me... So many times in life we are given something great, a big blessing or an answer to prayer and the moment something goes wrong, everything we were thankful for 5 minutes ago, goes out the window. There is not a doubt in my mind that God aligned this appointment to happen on Tuesday. It was totally God, but then why in the moment one thing goes wrong we start asking why and acting like it's the end of the world? 

Yesterday, some of those thoughts hit me, but I had to choose to make them leave and believe only the truth, remind myself that He is FOR me and not against me. I reminded myself we have this business because of Him. Things are going to happen, that's life, we just need to learn to navigate through the trials and allow Him to show us the way.

Hearing, You've been so, so good to me, it reminded me just how good He is. Just how much He has done for me. If not for Him, we wouldn't have this business. So, I even thought, how dare you Lynette, even start to question or act like everything He just did was erased all because ONE thing went wrong? When this hit me, I just began praising Him harder, thanking Him more with tears running down my face. I started talking to Him out loud, riding down the road, claiming He is for us and not against us, I know He will help us to complete this job with His hands all over it.

I got to Home Depot Tool Rental, rented a surface cleaner that is a BEAST and headed back to help Jon get the job done. At the end of the day, our customer was so thankful for all we did, he paid us above what we asked and wanted to cover the cost of the rental.

My point of sharing all of this, is to hopefully encourage anyone who might go through this when hiccups or roadblocks happen in life. Pray through them, praise through them, ask God to see you through it and He will. We ran into a trial yesterday in the midst of a job that we knew would completely bless us on the other end. It was a busy day, but it was not a bad day. We kept going and finished the job, then received a reward at the end of it.

Stay running this race, stay on track, keep trusting Jesus to pave the way, don't let minor setbacks discourage you. Remind yourself, He is for you and not against you.

When your own negative thoughts try to take over or the lies of the enemy, start singing and reminding yourself...
You've been so, so good to me
You've been so, so good to me
Oh, to think where I would be
If not for You, if not for You

He is such a good Father and just wants us to trust Him and turn to Him, in times of need. Let's all stop throwing in the towel, when trials come our way, let's start saying Jesus, you helped me get here and I know, You will see me through it.

With Love,
Lynette Colón